If you could change anything about your past what would it be?

I don’t know if there is anything I would change, I feel that most if not all of my experiences have made me the woman I am today.

I’m a mostly strong, mostly confident woman, that may have had some struggles but am also smart enough to always learn something from every situation and see my way out of them. Sometimes with the help of others but often on my own.

Why do I say I’m mostly strong & confident? Because I’m being honest. There are some days when I do struggle to get out of bed and get moving and I have to give myself major pep-talks. Actually it seems I have to give myself major pep-talks everyday lately.

But I guess if I had to change one thing it would probably be; I’d go back into time and prevent my self from being sexually assaulted. Raped to be exact.

I would not have gotten back with my ex, I would not have gone to his friends house and if even if I couldn’t change the predestined course of the act I would have made sure I reported it so I would not have to live with the shame and the guilt in silence for so many years.

But even through this horrible act I came out stronger. Yes, some of my coping mechanisms were unhealthy and dangerous, but I found temporary relief in taking back my body

So yea, that’d be the one thing I’d change. But I wouldn’t want to change me. I love myself even on my worst days, and that’s one thing I’d never want to change.

*One day, I’ll write more about this, in the hopes I might be able to help someone else.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

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