Hello and Welcome…

Hello and Welcome…

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I have good instincts when it comes to someone else’s situation… but not so much for myself. For as long as I can remember, I have been told I give great advice. I would often take late night phone calls and help a friend through whatever was causing them worry. Jai always has the answer.

I’m a critical thinker, a problem solver, a fixer if you will. Some might say say it’s because I’m a Gemini and I have the ability to see the duality of a situation. I examine the view from all the parties involved.

But I would like to think it’s because I’ve LIVED, I mean what’s the point of going through all the ups and downs of this thing called life if not to be able to share my experiences with others.

Don’t think of this as advice…because it’s just my opinion of what I would do if I were in your shoes. Ultimately the path you choose is your own. I’m just here to help open your eyes to other possibilities.

I’d like to dedicate this blog to my work daughter’s Kim and Lesley. The concept for “What Would Jai Do” was born in our mailroom. It was initially supposed to be a YouTube Vlog but…baby steps. They both inspire me daily with their energy for life, community and their passion projects. Never stop reaching for your goals!

Also to my Children Em, Cee & Naa. I love you guys so much, you are my greatest accomplishments and I am so proud to be your Mother. Thank you for still loving this crazy old lady despite being a crazy old lady.

And to my BFF Vickie, for always giving me something new to flex my brain power on lol. I hope I have only given you sound advice (you’re still standing so I think were good lol). Love you girl, thank you for never judging me.

Thank you to my siblings. There may be miles between us but through thick & thin, we keep each other strong!

And last but not least to my other half, H. I know that you wish I was less kind and giving of my time (it would definitely save me from some headaches) but thank you for understanding. Thank you for always trying to protect me from the unappreciative evils of this world but for also trying to open my eyes to them. Tough love at it’s finest and thank you for being in my life, you are my rock. You keep me grounded and I love you for that. I love you more than I love cold McDonald’s french fries!

If you’d like my opinion a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

The Finale

The Finale

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Have you ever watched a show and felt so connected with the characters that you were angry the way it progressed or sad to see it end?

No? Than good for you! And I mean that in the best way possible. There are several shows that have made me feel this way. “Sex/Life” for one (still working on my anger issues with that one) and more recently…”Lucifer”.

For me, “Lucifer” was art imitating life. So many of the characters reminded me of myself and various other family members and situations that have played out almost to the very last detail. No, I’m not saying my life is filled with actual demons, angels or the devil but I do believe we all possess a little of each in our own lives.

Don’t worry, if you watch the show this is not some type of spoiler alert.

I’m just very confused by the ending and how it made me feel. I put too much stock and emotion into this show and the characters in relation to my own life and now I think I have a better perspective of the future. Crazy I know, am I confused or do I have clarity?

I guess what I have is comfort. That everything works out the way it’s supposed to.

Thank you “Lucifer” for all the laughs and the tears and a small glimpse of hope into the future. I’m feeling super sad, I really do hope that there will be some spin-offs, now excuse me while I go restart season one.

You can watch all six seasons on Netflix, I promise you won’t regret it.

Do you have any must watch shows or movies?

I will never forget

I will never forget

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I really wasn’t planning on writing a blog on September 11th this year, but I’m currently watching the New York Subway series (The Yankees vs The Mets) and it’s making me more nostalgic than ever, for a place I once called home for most of my life.

I remember that day clearly, as if it were yesterday. There was a beautiful clear sky one that you could see forever in. I had just dropped my children off at school and on the way home I was so full of hope for the future, I was filled with this overwhelming feeling of happiness and direction.

It was an indescribable feeling actually and I don’t think I’m choosing the right words. It is not something I feel often and with good reason.

When I got home I turned on the TV and that’s when the events began to unfold. I watched as the second plane hit, I watched the Towers fall, I watched 2,977 lose their lives that day. That day I lost hope for humanity…that day I lost hope for myself.

I raced back to my children’s school and just held them. What safer place for them than in my arms? I think that may have been the day I became smothery. I knew the world was an evil place but the terrorist attacks were beyond comprehension. It was something that happened on the other side of the world.

I knew someone that died in the WTC, a childhood acquaintance. She left behind a husband and two children. I wondered about the night before and the morning of, on her way out to work. Did everyone get to say their “I love you’s” or was it a crazy morning as anyone with a family knows it could be and it got overlooked.

I hope they did, I hope they got to share a beautiful morning full of love, hugs and kisses. Enough to last a lifetime.

You never really do know when will be the last time you will see someone. Cherish every moment you have with your loved ones. Say I love you often (even if you are mad). Don’t allow pettiness to steal what could be your last moments.

September 11th brought out the absolute best in everyone. For awhile, everyone was more understanding and compassionate and full of love for their neighbor. That’s how it is sometimes, it takes a tragedy to realize the importance of being kind and love one another.

Time waits for absolutely no one and before you know it, it has run out.

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

There has been so much going on lately, I don’t even know where to start.

But I guess this is as good a place as any…

My husband has decided to re-enlist into the Army. It has been such a difficult time for me lately. So many changes and so fast, but as with everything else in my life I know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to be.

Back in May when this journey began I had no idea it would move so swiftly but it was with almost lightning speed that it has taken off. The hurdles he once faced were no longer an issue, the circumstances of our lives seemed to fall right into this decision and my need to build a new life with him away from the city that I once loved, grew more each day. So I was one hundred percent on board.

At first there was some resistance from family and friends, mostly they were being selfish lol and didn’t want to bear the thought of how boring their lives would be without me (just kidding guys lol) but they have all adjusted pretty quickly. Especially when they think of all the (hopefully) exotic places they may get to visit me.

Aside from the above mentioned reasons I have other reasons for wanting this so badly, for one…what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t support my husband’s dreams and goals? And I supported them all. Whether it was his goal to finish his degree and become a lawyer or when he learned a new trade and became an elevator mechanic or when he wanted to run for Mayor of NYC. I have always supported him and tried my very best to not only help him reach but surpass his goals. Some are still works in progress and I support that.

But this is a big one, life changing for me. I don’t have any real reservations about leaving. Two of my three children are adults and are more self sufficient than I am. My youngest, a 16 year old girl, will come and visit me wherever I may be and it is a small hope in my heart that she will love it and want to stay forever. My children know that no matter where I am in the world that I love them and they can still come to me for anything.

My fears are probably silly, but they are rooted from things that have happened in the past. Things that have occurred in my current relationship as well as previous ones, things that I’m still healing from. I am afraid to lose some of the independence I have gained in the last few years, but I’m also looking forward to being able to take it easy for awhile. As of late, work has been killing me, a job I once loved now brings me to tears. Most days when I get home from work I collapse into my bed and don’t want to speak to anyone but H…I miss him terribly.

I miss him, and when I am away I will miss my family and my friends and when I come back to visit I’ll long for the place that we call home. Like he says, I’m never happy, always unsatisfied and finding something to complain about. But that’s life and I know that I deserve the very best of everything.

Last month I celebrated my birthday…my 49th. Actually, I feel like I am still celebrating. Every weekend has been filled with so many gatherings with my family and friends. I am definitely well loved. I miss H, but I know he is away taking care of business and preparing a wonderful life for us. This year I only cried happy tears for my birthday.

So I guess in closing out this entry and as I prepare to embark on a new journey, as well as the second half of my life. I think the most important thing I want you take away from this is that…I am happy. Come what may…I will be happy. And happiness is the best revenge against those that wished to see me fail. Boom.

Please follow my other blog Jai’s Journey for all the latest updates on my journey as a Army wife.

What did you learn from your mother that stayed with you for the rest of your life?

What did you learn from your mother that stayed with you for the rest of your life?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

What did you learn from your mother that stayed with you for the rest of your life?

I learned A LOT from my mother. My mother, God rest her soul, always taught me to make my voice heard and to stand up for the little guy…even though she was little herself.

My mother was American of Chinese descent. Chinese people are often known for being meek and unassuming neither of which my mother was. She was fesity as well as she was fierce in her attitude as well as her sense of style.

A story her and my dad were always fond of telling is how one day at a club my father was playing at a fight broke out with a Chinese gang called the White Dragons (don’t quote me on the name though). My little tiny mother jumped onto the back of one of the gang members and put up a good fight. I don’t remmeber how the story ended or how they got my mother off his back, I just know that she had heart…and fought for the man she loved.

It doesnt end there though, she never let anyone push her around and always spoke up for herself. There have been so many times that she was callled a chink or a gook (way before #StopAsianHate was a thing) and she never responded using any derogatory terms or racisim. She would curse them out though an asshole is still an asshole no matter what the color of their skin is.

I remember in 1980someting going to a Cambodian protest with her as a young child, the energy was so alive and I was witness to all different walks of life coming together to raise awareness to the cause. I admit at first I was afraid, some of the protestors had smeared red paint on their faces and bodies to look like blood. It was a very impressionable moment for me and I got to see my mother fighting for a cause she believed in.

Something else I learned was to always have your own unique sense of style. She loved to wear her tutu skirt with her fishnet stockings and leather MC jacket…oh and the purple lipstick. Don’t ever forget the purple lipstick. I’ll admit, I sometimes hated the way that some people stared, but she did not have a care in the world and I loved her for that. She was beautiful and quirky and marched to the beat of her own drum (literally, my father is a drummer). And she never gave a rats ass as to what other people might have thought of her. That is courage and that is beauty.

My mother never gave up on her family, no matter how terrible we may have been to her at times. Whether we may have uttered an unkind word under our breath or outright cursed her…or worse, she never turned her back on us and always had more love to give.

For all the ways I’m just like her, there are many that I am not. I’m actually in my opinion, the perfect balance of both my parents just on some days one shines through more than the other.

Happy belated Mother’s Day💐 to all the mom’s out there, this includes step-moms, foster-moms, fur-baby moms and any one in the mothering capacity.

Please share with me anything you may have learned from your mother that has stayed with you.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

The Last Box

The Last Box

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

*Warning: Men you will probably want to skip this one.

So as I feared, the end is probably near. The last time I saw any signs of a period were right before Valentine’s Day. I remember this because I was spotting and I kept praying it away because I didn’t want it to ruin V~Day and my husband’s birthday (yes he was a V~Day baby❤).

I prayed it away…damn I’m good. Maybe too good. But I bought the box anyway. It’s funny because as I bought it I chuckled to myself…imagine this is the last box I’ll ever buy… why can’t when I imagine meeting Drake or having a million dollars come true. By the way my love, the Drake reference was just to see if you’re still reading lol.

But seriously, I just wanted to postpone the period not wish it away forever but here I am, 2 1/2 months later (or 74 days according to my FLO app) and not even a spot since that fateful day. I still carry around a pad or tampon just in case it decides to make a surprise appearance, but it just seems to be taking up space.

I’m just feeling down about it. My husband is quite the opposite, he couldn’t be more happier. I would have really loved to try and carry a child of our own but he is dead set against it. Not that I agree with them but least he was honest with his reasons. I’d say this so far is the one subject that we will never see eye to eye on. So we have agreed to get a fur baby, not the same but I guess it will do.

As I picked up that last box, I glanced over at the ovulation & pregnancy test and wondered if I would ever need to take one of those again. My heart became filled with sadness because I know it’s only a matter of time. I would never again feel, little hiccups from within or tiny kicks to keep me up at night. These are things that only a mother can know.

I make intelligent and beautiful babies. I was a good and nurturing mother, it wasn’t only until they were teenagers and young adults that I thought I failed them. I just wanted the chance to do it one more time. Honestly, I’d give my life for it which is basically what having another child would probably be… a death sentence for me. But as any parent would, I would give my life for my child.

As I purchased that last box, I thought of the inconvient timimg this period had, like whhhyyyy now. I passed through an aisle that a clerk was starting to arrange spring items and sunblock, all signs that point to renewal and a carefree summer which made me think, I guess I’ll never have to worry about an accident on my beach towel again. It also made me think; I’ll never get to Baywatch run on the beach again to save my toddler son from drowning.

As I walked home with that last box I tried really hard to remember the first box. I was only 10 and thats all that I really remember. I remember how badly I wanted it just because my girl friends were starting to get theirs and I wanted to be just like them. I prayed hard and I got it.

Drake & a million dollars

Miss You Much 💔

Miss You Much 💔

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

I thought that by writing this at work I could avoid the waterfall of tears that are sure to come. I was wrong. It has been a whole year since you left this earth and the pain of your departure has not lessened.

You have missed so much and yet it feels like time has stood still for all of us. I can still hear your footsteps and laughter in the apartment and see your beautiful smile every time I close my eyes.

The weather today is the perfect reflection of how I feel. It is pouring outside, a gray and stormy day, just like inside my heart and head. No comfort for me today, I have to be strong at work. Just like I know the many days you you went in but often cried in the bathroom.

I wish you were here mom and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and wonder what you would do if you were in my shoes. I still need advice I still need my mom. I know that I acted like I knew it all, I was just trying to be strong…I guess to prepare myself for the day you were no longer here. It didn’t work.

I know you watch over us though and that does bring me great comfort. I feel you in this room, the room you spent much of the last days of your life. The home where you brought the family together.

H and I are getting ready to embark on the next part of our journey, a place to call our very own. I just hope that I can take the memory of you with me. I know that you would be so happy for me. I just wish you were here to visit me.

They say that everything happens for a reason but I will never understand why you were taken so soon. God must have needed you for something big.

So for now, I’m going to wipe my tears and woman up and be strong like I know you would. Thank you mom for making me the woman I am today. Please don’t stop guiding me in the right direction. I may not always pick the path you would but the destination is always the same.

Sleep in peace my beautiful mother, rest easy knowing that we are all okay. Your beautiful new grand baby and all your future grands will know of you and the remarkable and incredible woman you were.

I love you and miss you much.

~J

One Year Later

One Year Later

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Can you believe it? It has been one year since all of our lives have been changed forever. Whether you’ve lost someone to Covid or not, you can’t tell me your life has not been changed in some way.

For some it may have been their favorite restaurant closing their doors or having to retake elementary courses in order to home school their children or having their freedom taken away when the executive order for a curfew was set in place.

Perhaps you had to wait on long lines to buy groceries or got into fist fights over toilet paper or had your income reduced because they reduced your hours at work…reducing your paitence with life.

For many it would be losing a loved one. We have all lost someone to Covid. Whether it was an immediate family member or old college roomate. It has touched everyone.

For me Covid would come in the form of one of life’s greatest losses a person can have, I lost my mother. I know that the death of a parent is supposed to be part of the natrual order of life but it was so sudden, without any warnings. One day we are planning her anniversary dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant and the next we are saying our last goodbyes.

At first we were witnessing this nightmare happen to people on the other side of the world, here; she was being treated for a UTI and then she was just gone. How did this happen? It was so swift and unexpected and her death left alot of things unsaid. It left a deafening silence on my heart and a vulnerability I’m not used to.

2020 was like something out of a B scifi movie (B is for BAD), we had everything from a killer virus to murder hornets to riots and race wars and monstorus storms….oh my.

Being quarantined tested humanity, tested our patience and tested my marriage. But we all made it through.

The buses were free, which I was grateful for because an already scary subway system became even more so when the homeless took over. City streets once full of tourist life were now empty and it was eerily quiet. Now there is more activity in the streets but will it ever be the once thriving city it once was?

When it finally got warm and outdoor activities became available I spent a lot of time alone at the beach to reflect. Nothing like crying into your beer on the sand. Outdoor dining became an everywhere thing, not just swanky parts of Manhattan but even in lil ole Queens. It was great, finally a way to socialize and at least get out of the house and interact with other humans again.

But life for all of us as moved forward. The holiday’s came and went without a hitch. Obviously there was a big gap in our hearts because it was the first without mom but as a family we got through it together. Stronger I think.

For some, being quarrantined was creating a new life that will be born into the family with renewed hope and faith. Sadness takes over when I think about mom not being here to hold a new grandchild but I know she’s watching over our newest family member.

In January, my husband and I got the VID and I was sick for three weeks (him for only 2 days). It figures, that I would go almost the whole pandemic and get sick right when they began distributing vaccines. We made it through though.

While life for the general public seemed to be regaining some normalcy my private life was slowly falling apart. Nothing to scandalus but enough to make me question everything from life to love. Having just lost my mother, not being able to see my kids for Mother’s Day or my birthday. My birthday going from being the best day ever to a royal rumble.

From having my husband by my side 24/7 to him barely here. June, July and August were really dificult adjustment periods for me. So much that I even “ran away” from home. I remember the turning point, he picked me up from the beach and we got into a huge fight because I had to pee. He wasn’t the same after that. Not for awhile anyway.

I do feel robbed of time though. We were newly married right before the world fell apart. A time we should have been discovering life as husband and wife we were now confined to the house.

When we should have been celebrating life we were mourning mom. When we should have been starting on our own journey, we were called home to family.

I’ve no regrets I only wish my mom could have been here for it all and I could have kept my promise.

My husband has a famous saying… “feelings aren’t facts. But the fact is that my feelings were very much hurt and I still occasionally deal with the repercussions, especially when the wounds are reopened with fresh claws by old cats. It’s hard to heal though when there is still much going on in the world that is more important than me.

The world has been through enough this year. I know that I certainly have. Not sure how much more I can take either. Good thing is I had Covid so I don’t need the vaccine right away. Bad thing is I had Covid and I’m not sure how this will affect me down the road, no one is. Good thing is that I’m resilient and strong bad thing is I’m fragile and weak. It’s like a wait and see type of game.

But that’s life, there are no guarantees on anything.

So let’s wait and see…

Road to recovery: My Covid non-Journal, the final entry.

Road to recovery: My Covid non-Journal, the final entry.

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I planned to make this journal entries, but my experience with Covid was fast and furious and has kept me asleep for most of it. First and foremost, thankfully I was not hospitalized although there were a few times I thought I might need to be. It became difficult to breathe around day 8, and my biggest fear was to die alone. So yes, I guess I was being completely selfish that I would rather have my husband wake up to a dead wife than to die alone and scared.

I just kept thinking of my mother and what she must have went through and as I stated it might have been a selfish act, because my husband is the one that would have found me, I was comforted at home with him surrounded by my things with my mother’s picture watching over me. So I chose to ride it out at home. Sorry to my family that may be reading this. I was scared.

The symptoms were mostly like the CDC advises. I slept for days on end, my fever creeped to 103.2, body aches like I was in a car accident. I vomited as well as other stomach issues. I couldn’t eat for days and when I could it was very little. Example I can eat a 10 piece McDonald’s chicken nuggets in a sitting. During my illness the 10 piece lasted me 3 days. And finally the coughing, which didn’t develop until the end but it was also pretty scary because it bought on my asthma and the chest pains.

If you have ever had bronchitis, that’s how it felt in my experience. The tightness in my chest and with every deep breath came a painful dry cough. H practically bought everything in the Walgreens cold medicine aisle and it kept me very comfortable in the remaining days. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I love you.

There are some symptoms the CDC doesn’t mention but I feel like they were related and as I speak with more people that had Covid I don’t feel so alone. I’m normally an emotional person by nature but these emotions felt over the top. I just couldn’t stop being sad and crying all the time. EVERYTHING and I mean everything made me cry.

My skin became waxy and always seemed wet, even after the fevers subsided. My skin also became very sensitive to touch. Water in the shower felt very heavy, it wasn’t painful but it was definitely a strange sensation, I felt like I was absorbing the water into my skin.

I never lost my sense of taste or smell, just the opposite. I did lose my appetite but once my appetite returned and I began eating again the taste of food seemed to be amplified on my taste buds and even temporarily ruined some of my favorite foods for me (don’t worry, I can once again eat my weight in wings).

My hair was already thinning but I noticed on the day I received my negative results (20 days after my positive result) as I was combing my hair significant amounts of clumps were in my hand. That just made me cry more. As someone who is already battling hair loss this is not something I wanted to see.

My back is giving me a lot of issues, pretty much from the day I “recovered”. It’s possible it’s due to the fact I was laying down for 3 weeks straight and I’m still laying down more than I’d like. I’m hoping once the weather warms up I can get out more. But for now this Covid cluster in my lower back is keeping me humbly aware I’m still not 100%.

I seem more confused lately too. I keep mixing up my words and I’m more forgetful than usual, not sure if this is the brain fog that people are mentioning. It’s becoming a bit embarrassing, I’m okay with it when speaking to husband, family or friends (they know I’m mostly smart) but when I’m speaking with a client or composing an email I don’t want to appear unintelligent and become flustered easily when I do slip.

I’m sure there are many other things I’m experiencing, I just can’t remember them now. I fear that in 2 years I will suddenly collapse and die and the doctors will find that it’s Covid related.

It was hell. I’m happy I made it through I know countless others including my own mom were not so lucky😔.

My experience has taught me something very valuable though I learned that I don’t want to be unhappy and to appreciate all the good people and things in my life no matter how small and to let go of things that are not conducive to my growth.

This is not to say that I’ve become an uncaring person just that not everyone or every situation deserves a reaction. I’m choosing my battles more wisely.

Besides, in the end…Goodness always reigns supreme.

Please stay safe everyone, continue to mask up, wash your hands and get vaccinated when you can.

Road To Recovery: My Covid Journal

Road To Recovery: My Covid Journal

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Day 2, Thursday January 21st.

It’s been one day since I received my positive test result. And I feel like I’ve had this forever. So far, I’ve had an extremely high fever 103. But honestly even when its low 99 it feels high.

I’ve experienced lethargy, dehydration, confusion, loss of appetite. Thankfully the symptoms don’t last and and aside from the exhaustion and fever have not returned.

Yesterday my appetite finally returned after a 2 day hiatus. I knew it was too good to be true that I wasn’t eating my way through grubhub. It wasn’t self control it was the Vid😷. H picked up a giant fruit salad (party platter) and its the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.

For an early dinner he ordered a cheese stuffed crust pizza. It was yummy. But I think I ate too much, I have to remember I might feel momentarily better but my body is still fighting a virus.

Today I also began working from home full time. Just trying to keep busy and keep my mind sharp. It was a bit exhausting, but I’m hoping it gets easier with time.

It’s almost 6pm, and my head is killing me but I’m happy to report a normal temperature of 98.6. But unhappy to report a terrible pain in my neck, which is a new symptom.

I woke up from a nap without the neck pain but feeling a bit dazed. It’s taking all of my energy to peel an orange.

Calling it a night soon.

Time:10:40pm

Last dose of Tylenol:8pm

Current temp: 100.00

Comfort level ☺️-🥵: 😩

This is America 🇺🇸?

This is America 🇺🇸?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Wanna start a fight? Let’s talk politics. I admit, I am not the most political savvy person. I can’t tell you what any of the amendments are, how to pass a bill or when the constitution was enacted. My interest lie mostly in my husband’s political aspirations and learning how to achieve it. What I can tell you is that what transpired yesterday on Capitol Hill was a travesty and the most devastatingly, heart breaking thing my eyes have ever witnessed (after 9/11) as an American and as a human.

I don’t care what your political party is, you can’t tell me that your okay with what unfolded yesterday and it’s okay to admit that you were blinded by the last 4 years. Even VP. Pence finally has seen the light and finally made the right decision, and I’m sure there are more cabinet members to follow in the coming hours and days.

There are so many things wrong with yesterdays events it hard to even figure out the best place to start, so might as well start at the top. The big dog. Our president for the next 13 days (unless they enact the 25th amendment, I pay attention sometimes). How did he get away with 1/2 the things he has done? First off, the man is just about as politically savvy as I am, maybe even less. Realistically he was probably just a puppet, someone was pulling his strings much like Pinocchio and Gepetto as the big banks of America.

It then got out of hand and he became impossible to control. If you’re wondering what would have happened if Frankenstein had a Twitter… this is it.

For years he used social media to rile the masses and form an angry mob, is anyone really surprised this happened? I knew it would get bad but I didn’t think it would escalate to this.

If you ask me, the Capitol Police allowed this to happen I’m not saying they were in on it but they might as have just given them a map and handed them the keys to the building. Heads should roll.

Honestly the one thing that really has me angry is the tender kid gloves these protestors were handled with. I mean c’mon if they were a few shades darker they would have been shot dead on the steps. Tell me I’m wrong. If Barack Obama had used social media to send messages to rile up Blacks & Latinos, he would have been impeached and convicted of incitement to violence. Tell me I’m wrong.

How is it during the BLM protest the National guard was called in ahead of the protest but during the Capitol riot only a small number of DC Police were on hand? In both events law enforcement had prior knowledge, but only one event was prepared to use deadly force. Tell me I’m wrong.

So what we really learned today is that America is not a free country because you are charged according to the color of your skin. That you can’t be brown and rightfully angry at the injustices we face and protest peacefully but you can be white, brainwashed and storm and destroy federal property at the behest of our President.

Don’t get me wrong, I will never understand the concept of rioting and looting nor do I condone it but please explain to me how you can get shot by breaking a Best Buy window but walk away unscathed from destroying the Capitol with the intent to take hostages?

This is America, land of the free home of the brave, but all I saw yesterday was an attempt to destroy democracy and claim a victory that wasn’t won fair & square. The American people voted Mr. President and now it’s time to bow out gracefully and let the real politicians get back to work.

Here’s to praying we have a smooth inauguration day. A girl can dream can’t she?

Sending the world peace and tranquility, love and light. Even to those that chose to participate and condone yesterday’s actions, for they need it most.

Jai