I planned to make this journal entries, but my experience with Covid was fast and furious and has kept me asleep for most of it. First and foremost, thankfully I was not hospitalized although there were a few times I thought I might need to be. It became difficult to breathe around day 8, and my biggest fear was to die alone. So yes, I guess I was being completely selfish that I would rather have my husband wake up to a dead wife than to die alone and scared.

I just kept thinking of my mother and what she must have went through and as I stated it might have been a selfish act, because my husband is the one that would have found me, I was comforted at home with him surrounded by my things with my mother’s picture watching over me. So I chose to ride it out at home. Sorry to my family that may be reading this. I was scared.

The symptoms were mostly like the CDC advises. I slept for days on end, my fever creeped to 103.2, body aches like I was in a car accident. I vomited as well as other stomach issues. I couldn’t eat for days and when I could it was very little. Example I can eat a 10 piece McDonald’s chicken nuggets in a sitting. During my illness the 10 piece lasted me 3 days. And finally the coughing, which didn’t develop until the end but it was also pretty scary because it bought on my asthma and the chest pains.

If you have ever had bronchitis, that’s how it felt in my experience. The tightness in my chest and with every deep breath came a painful dry cough. H practically bought everything in the Walgreens cold medicine aisle and it kept me very comfortable in the remaining days. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I love you.

There are some symptoms the CDC doesn’t mention but I feel like they were related and as I speak with more people that had Covid I don’t feel so alone. I’m normally an emotional person by nature but these emotions felt over the top. I just couldn’t stop being sad and crying all the time. EVERYTHING and I mean everything made me cry.

My skin became waxy and always seemed wet, even after the fevers subsided. My skin also became very sensitive to touch. Water in the shower felt very heavy, it wasn’t painful but it was definitely a strange sensation, I felt like I was absorbing the water into my skin.

I never lost my sense of taste or smell, just the opposite. I did lose my appetite but once my appetite returned and I began eating again the taste of food seemed to be amplified on my taste buds and even temporarily ruined some of my favorite foods for me (don’t worry, I can once again eat my weight in wings).

My hair was already thinning but I noticed on the day I received my negative results (20 days after my positive result) as I was combing my hair significant amounts of clumps were in my hand. That just made me cry more. As someone who is already battling hair loss this is not something I wanted to see.

My back is giving me a lot of issues, pretty much from the day I “recovered”. It’s possible it’s due to the fact I was laying down for 3 weeks straight and I’m still laying down more than I’d like. I’m hoping once the weather warms up I can get out more. But for now this Covid cluster in my lower back is keeping me humbly aware I’m still not 100%.

I seem more confused lately too. I keep mixing up my words and I’m more forgetful than usual, not sure if this is the brain fog that people are mentioning. It’s becoming a bit embarrassing, I’m okay with it when speaking to husband, family or friends (they know I’m mostly smart) but when I’m speaking with a client or composing an email I don’t want to appear unintelligent and become flustered easily when I do slip.

I’m sure there are many other things I’m experiencing, I just can’t remember them now. I fear that in 2 years I will suddenly collapse and die and the doctors will find that it’s Covid related.

It was hell. I’m happy I made it through I know countless others including my own mom were not so lucky😔.

My experience has taught me something very valuable though I learned that I don’t want to be unhappy and to appreciate all the good people and things in my life no matter how small and to let go of things that are not conducive to my growth.

This is not to say that I’ve become an uncaring person just that not everyone or every situation deserves a reaction. I’m choosing my battles more wisely.

Besides, in the end…Goodness always reigns supreme.

Please stay safe everyone, continue to mask up, wash your hands and get vaccinated when you can.