What do you think about “Ghosting”?

I think it’s absolutely unacceptable. Look, I get it. Sometimes things just don’t workout, if that’s the case then just be honest and tell the other person. Just be kind about it, or if you can’t be kind and need to be a dick then do so, but what you cannot do is just say nothing.

It’s just so wrong on so many levels. It causes psychological stress and it makes the person that got ghosted feel as though they weren’t enough and asking themselves why this happened and leaving them with a ton of unanswered questions. Have I ever been ghosted, yes I have.

Fortunately I Kinda knew it was coming so I had already prepared myself mentally for it. I was dating someone for about 8 months and to say the very least the “relationship” was complicated from the get, and eventually he had to make a decision and took the cowards way out.

But even though I knew it was coming, it still hurt. How do you go from talking to someone constantly for 8 months to nothing? How do you go from saying you want the very best for a person and then disappearing from their lives?

Because I knew he was wishy washy I had even given him an out before the relationship even began. But in the end, it/I proved to be to much for him. Although it hurt, it was mostly my ego and the fact that I enjoyed the friendship more than anything. And that’s what hurt the most, losing a friend.

Have I ever ghosted anyone? Thinking about it now, I may have “soft ghosted” people (which after some research I found is an actual thing, and I actually do it ALOT!) I know I talk a lot about honesty and kindness, but it has been my experience that men have a harder time hearing the truth than women (IMO and from personal experience). So I fully admit instead of saying “I’m not interested” or letting them know straight out the gate they don’t stand a chance I will be friendly and cordial with someone knowing I’m not into them. Also because I don’t want to automatically assume they are into me, that would be embarrassing.

But here’s where I get into trouble, instead of just saying “hey I like you as a friend” I tend to say nothing. Maybe a couple of LOL’s and likes on their photos, but no real substantial conversation on my part. I mean they could write me 5 whole paragraphs and I would just reply with an LOL, haha, or a 🙂 or even no reply at all. It was my thinking that they would just take the hint, get bored and remove themselves from my life…I know, I was being a coward…and a dick.

And in being a coward it has affected my current relationship. There was someone that occasionally texted me, we never met in person but remained friendly. The text messages were always friendly and light…until they weren’t and took on a sexual nature, and the only reply I could muster was…“lol”.

My fiancé saw the message and my reply and was enraged. I meant no harm, but he felt as if I was showing interest however minuscule and instead of saying “lol” I should have told him I had a boyfriend. He’s right, and that day I learned my lesson. So for now on I’ll be an honest dick….eh, probably safer to just not speak to anyone at all. Lol.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

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