Veteran’s Day

Before I met H, I always viewed certain holidays differently. Memorial Day and the 4th of July we’re just another day to drink excessively and over eat BBQ and Veteran’s Day was a day off of school and work.

I loved Military movies and watched them with a naivete that these things happened on the other side of the world and never really gave a lot of thought to the men and women who served and protected us from unimaginable evils. 

Even when my little sister A joined, I was so proud yet afraid for her but still, I didn’t really think much about it. My only thought was I didn’t want her to join and was so very thankful she was never deployed. 

And forget about when my son wanted to join, I would have broke both his legs to make him ineligible (mostly just kidding) but I knew this was just a teenage whim/threat to get out of doing chores and responsibilities he wanted no part of. Besides there were a number of reasons he couldn’t join even if he really wanted to (case closed👩🏻‍⚖️).

But after dating a Veteran my views have changed. Don’t get me wrong, I still drink excessively and over eat BBQ but its no longer the party holiday it once was. The movies are no longer just a movie and I think longer and harder on these days of the things H has seen and lived through, the family he has lost, the horrors he must have seen.

Even after 3 years, I don’t know everything about his life in the military or some of the things he’s experienced. I believe that he might be a little afraid of the stigma that comes with military life and maybe he’s afraid I won’t understand. But I want to know it all, what he saw, what he felt, the things he tasted, the sounds he heard, how hot the sand was to his touch.

I know in due time he will share those things with me, until then I hope he knows that there IS NOT ONE THING in this world he could tell me about his experience that would make me love him any less or see him as anything less than the hero that he is. 

Yes, hero. He is brave enough to do what most won’t, defend our country even though it seems like it is falling apart. He still gets up and stands up for what he believes in and when he sees the American Flag, you can just see the pride beaming through those tiny tears that form in the corners of his eyes (he thinks I don’t notice). But I do.

I notice, even though I may not say much or seem like I care, I do. I may not be the first to acknowledge his military accomplishments but I try to just be silent on days like today. Hug him a little harder, hold his hand a little tighter, kiss him a little longer. Listen more with my heart than my ears. 

Being the girlfriend/wife of someone in the military has it perks, but those perks come with a hefty price tag. It’s not only the long amounts of time spent apart, wondering if he is okay, warm, cold,eating, alive? It’s the; what if he never comes home? That’s the price he pays for our country. I have my nightmares too, the long amount of time apart is nothing, I would wait 1000 years for him, but am I strong enough to greet his flag draped coffin? These are the nightmares I have when he speaks of going back. 

Have I thought about trying to talk him out of it? Sure have, I have told him on a few occasions I’d like to break his legs (100% not kidding) but the military is his passion, it is his lifeblood. He was on this course well before I met him and I’m just a supportive passenger on the ride of her life.

Side Note: I don’t feel like saying “Happy Veteran’s Day” is appropriate, and actually had someone who never served try and “school’ me on my feelings. I understand the meaning of the holiday but just the same as religion, don’t tell me how I am supposed to feel.

Here are some constructive ways you can show your appreciation:

Wounded Warrior Project

11 Honorable ways  you can help Veterans 

Here are some establishments that are offering free meals, discounts, sales and deals. Please check with your local retailer.

Also, it is worth mentioning “A recent analysis found the suicide rate among veterans of about 30 per 100,000 population per year, compared with the civilian rate of 14 per 100,000.” It can be especially hard around the holidays. Please, if you need help or know of someone that does please seek help. These brave men and women in our lives may not feel like they can reach out for help. They protected and saved us, now it time for us to protect and save them.

Veterans: Lifeline

Veterans Crisis Line

Thank you to all of the men and women, and most especially my love who were and are brave enough to serve and protect our country!

Thank you for your service❤