Tag: Love

If you could change anything about your past what would it be?

If you could change anything about your past what would it be?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

If you could change anything about your past what would it be?

I don’t know if there is anything I would change, I feel that most if not all of my experiences have made me the woman I am today.

I’m a mostly strong, mostly confident woman, that may have had some struggles but am also smart enough to always learn something from every situation and see my way out of them. Sometimes with the help of others but often on my own.

Why do I say I’m mostly strong & confident? Because I’m being honest. There are some days when I do struggle to get out of bed and get moving and I have to give myself major pep-talks. Actually it seems I have to give myself major pep-talks everyday lately.

But I guess if I had to change one thing it would probably be; I’d go back into time and prevent my self from being sexually assaulted. Raped to be exact.

I would not have gotten back with my ex, I would not have gone to his friends house and if even if I couldn’t change the predestined course of the act I would have made sure I reported it so I would not have to live with the shame and the guilt in silence for so many years.

But even through this horrible act I came out stronger. Yes, some of my coping mechanisms were unhealthy and dangerous, but I found temporary relief in taking back my body

So yea, that’d be the one thing I’d change. But I wouldn’t want to change me. I love myself even on my worst days, and that’s one thing I’d never want to change.

*One day, I’ll write more about this, in the hopes I might be able to help someone else.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

How often do you talk on the phone with your partner?

How often do you talk on the phone with your partner?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

How often do you talk on the phone with your partner?

Everyday, several times a day, sometimes for hours.

But there was once a time we hardly ever talked on the phone. I remember one time, early in the relationship I asked if I could call him and his response was…”I’m not in prison”😑. I thought it was really funny, but it was because of my previous relationship experience (to be discussed in another blog) and as it turns out he was in a self created prison (discussed here).

Gradually we talked more and one day it became facetime chats while we watched each other fall asleep. Well usually it was me watching him fall asleep or him listening to me snore😟. He would usually hangup at this point, but I liked to watch him. I never disconnected the call because if he woke up I wanted him to know I was still there for him and always will be.

Now like I mentioned we speak several times a day even though were married. Thinking about it, we actually speak on the phone now more than when we were dating. And I love it. Even though sometimes it can be a bit harrowing when I’m at work trying to handle several things and speak with several people at once including him and he might sneeze for example then demand a God bless you from me and when I don’t say it fast enough I then wind up barking at him and he gets butt hurt. But other than that it’s great😊! No seriously, I mean it. I love it.

Despite what may be popular insinuations, it is not because I don’t trust him. I thoroughly enjoy his company and his conversations. However,I am comforted by the fact though that God forbid anything happened to him that I would be aware of it. As a professional driver (no not a race car driver) he spends all day out on the road making sure his passengers get from point A. to point B. safely. But what about him. In between rides and when he worked late into the night, many a night he has fallen asleep at a red light. How do I know? Facetime.

Maybe I’m a weirdo, but even if we are just sitting on the phone in silence, while he has me on his air pods and he is driving his passengers around I love it. It gives me a sense of security and comfort to be able to spend the time with him when permitted.

Every moment spent whether it is on the phone or in person is a blessing and I plan to cherish every single moment.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 2 Comments

Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

Interesting question…both.

There must always be rules and as long as there is a clear understanding between both (or more) partners than go ahead and push those boundaries. Although I don’t think the boundaries need to be constantly pushed, I do think it’s fun to try out new things.

I can’t yet share to much info without speaking to my husband but we are planning on pushing the boundary a little bit. No, it is not a threesome, so honey please don’t get all excited lol. Threesomes are not for me, I’m too immature for that. I wrote a piece about it here if you would like to read about it.

But what I am willing to do is that thing we have been talking about for years. I’m usually game for anything as long as I’m comfortable with it. Like I said, I can’t really share to much about it beforehand but if he’s okay with it I will share the R rated details after.

The point of this piece though is yes to boundaries and rules. I have discussed the rules and conditions of what we will be embarking on and he seems to be okay with what I’m asking for. However, he sometimes does have a comment or remark he makes that makes me rethink the whole situation and yes it does make me uncomfortable.

On one hand I don’t know if he is saying such things so I will be the one to shut it down or if he is really planning on doing the things he says…thus now I have a assault charge (just kidding, no violence).

If your shy about how to approach your partner regarding boundaries just ease into it. For example if there is a particular sex act or position you may want to try you could simply ask or if you’re watching porn say “hey, that looks fun, wanna try”?

I know its easier said than done, but what’s the worse that can happen? Now go push some boundaries but also set some rules. I’m about to go harass my husband into something kinky🙃lol. Totally partially kidding.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

Saying I Love You…

Saying I Love You…

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I’m not going to lie and say I was Kobe’s biggest fan, I knew he played for “The Lakers” and that he cheated on his wife. She forgave him and the world was extremely judgmental about that, that and the giant purple diamond ring he gave her shortly after.

Yesterday morning as they kissed each other goodbye, I’m pretty sure that neither of them knew that would be the last time they would see each other. As a mother, I’m sure Vanessa Bryant saw her daughter growing up to be a successful basketball player, and perhaps becoming a wife and having children of her own someday.

Sadly, these things would never happen. I cannot stress enough the importance of saying “I love you” to those that you cherish. We honestly don’t know when we will take our last breaths and I wish I could use them to let those I love know.

This death has really weighed heavily on my heart. Like I said I’m not a basketball fan, but 1. I see how deeply this has affected those around me. and 2. there was a child involved. I can’t imagine this woman’s pain and the devastation she is feeling. I pray she has the strength to carry on to care for her other daughters.

Please, tell those you love that you love them, but not only tell them, show them daily as well. Live each day as if it is your last. Be brave and do that thing that scares you. Live your life without apologies or regrets.

Have you started to do something because of each other’s influence?

Have you started to do something because of each other’s influence?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

 Have you started to do something because of each other’s influence?

Yes, be late for everything lol! Just kidding, but no seriously, he has no conception of time and often is late for (every) things.

But lets focus on only the positive things…I’ve had a strained relationship with my parent’s. Like, I love being around them for a few hours but I often needed to have some sort of promise of inebriation and/or a bribe involved usually food and alcohol.

But since meeting H, I am learning to enjoy the time spent at my parent’s. I thoroughly enjoy watching him interact with them and the way he captivates my dad with his musical abilities. My mom has always been easy to please, but she genuinely enjoys his company and vice versa. I think he’s her biggest IG fan.

I think he enjoys her company more than he enjoys mine😑 lol. I know there might come a day that I will regret not having gone to visit more but I am thankful for the times that we do go now. Would I visit more if H wasn’t in my life? Probably not as I hardly visited before. But like I said, let’s just focus only on the positive.

Now go hug your parents.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

What was the best moment in your relationship so far? (Are you smiling while recalling that moment?)

What was the best moment in your relationship so far? (Are you smiling while recalling that moment?)

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

What was the best moment in your relationship so far? (Are you smiling while recalling that moment?)

Oh my God, just so many to tell so I really can’t pick “The Best”. So I’ll just run off a few family friendly memories that make me smile every time I think about them.

The first time he massaged my feet…it was love (at least for me): I spend a fair amount of time during my day in 3 inch heels. On this particular day, we were probably only dating for about 6 months or so, he had picked me up from work. Well, right there as he was driving me home he reached over and grabbed my leg. He pulled off my shoe and then my sock and just started massaging my foot as he was driving. I fell in instant love, it may not have been the safest thing to do but it definitely won my heart and he showed me his bravery (if you ever smelled my feet after a long day, you would know why).

The first time I met his son…I was so nervous and excited all at the same time. But it was a defining moment in our relationship. I felt honored, I don’t think any of his other girlfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s have met the baby and it made me feel really special. I was nervous but the baby like me and we got along great!

On the day we got married…Before the ceremony, as my sister and nephew got out of the car, and I was taking a minute to adjust my make-up in the mirror he played one of my favorite songs. I had mentioned to him about a year ago that I wanted to dance to this song at our wedding. It’s a song that Bruno Mars had sang on an episode of “Jane The Virgin” when Jane & Michael got married. Well, needless to say I began to cry and there went my make-up. We didn’t have the big ceremony but in my opinion that was all I needed that day (well that and him). By playing that song he gave me the one thing I said I wanted at my wedding.

Undoubtedly there are countless moments I haven’t included. I could makeup a blog of those moments alone. These are just a few that I think of often. Every time he touches my feet and every time I look at a picture of his son.

I think about our wedding everyday, our wedding photos sit conveniently next to our tv and they remind of that beautiful day. I can’t help but smile and think about how happy I am and for what’s to come.

The beautiful thing is that we have been together for just a little over three years and have made so many beautiful memories so far…we have so many more years to go and many more “best moments” to make.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?

When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 2 Comments

 When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?

About 15 minutes ago, and normally several times a day via text and every time before we (hang up) I guess the actual term would be end the call, because no one hangs up anymore. But yea, I’m really big on saying I love you as often as I can, which is why it pisses me off so much when we may have an argument and he just leaves/ends the call without saying it!

Like did you fall out of love with me in the last few minutes/hours? Highly doubtful, especially because our arguments are usually about insignificant people and events. So what gives?

I guess this is where he and I are different. Although we both know that tomorrow or even five minutes from now isn’t a given, we both approach this differently. If I should walk away from him and not say I love him I would feel terribly be guilty if God forbid something happened to him before I saw him again. I think he feels more like; eh…I’ll just make it up to her later. But what if there is no later?

Maybe he’s okay with that, but I’m not. So I will ” I love you” him to death even when I want to rip his head off.

Yes, this post was short…but hopefully sweet, hopefully sweet enough to inspire everyone to make sure you tell your SO/family members that you love them as often as you can.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

When does a relationship become exclusive?

When does a relationship become exclusive?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

When does a relationship become exclusive?

I’d say; when you begin having unprotected sex, but I think it actually begins before this.

Some think exclusivity should begin during the talking phase but let’s face it, I don’t think that’s a realistic expectation, at least not in this day and age. Years ago it was a lot harder to talk to more than one person at a time (I’ll be damned if I try calling you for over an hour and get a continuous busy signal) and forget about photographic evidence, screenshots will have you dead in the water before you can even even bat an eye.

So somewhere after the talking phase but before the let’s lose the condoms stage something starts to happen, where you begin to think “hey, I really like this person and would like to see them more”. And that’s when exclusivity comes into play. I believe your head and your heart make the decision way before your other parts.

Once that happens it’s time to have “the talk”, you know the “what are we?” talk. It’s better to have the talk then to just assume the other person is on the same page as you…let alone reading the same book. But when is it to soon for that?

Again this is debatable in my opinion. I think most relationships (at least for me) have fallen into the exclusive category around the 3 month mark, some even sooner. In fact, I don’t really recall how H and I became exclusive…I think it was more like an unspoken understanding between us. Thank goodness we were both reading the same book. But I’m pretty sure it was around the 3 month mark.

It really is different for everyone because we all develop feelings at different rates and might have other situations we were involved in that might need sorting before we can move on. But I can safely say that I believe a good measure is when you begin to ditch the condoms/birth control.

I don’t think anything screams as loud as I WANNA ONLY BE WITH YOU as loudly as sharing bodily fluids and possibly creating a baby.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

Just your average Thursday…

Just your average Thursday…

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

Sooooo this happened today….

Walking into 2020 like…..#Newlyweds♥️

Today H and I tied the knot, in a small intimate civil ceremony. One year to this date, on our anniversary we will have a larger celebration in front of our family and friends.

Today was about us♥️, a perfect ending to a wonderful Christmas 🎄. Life is full of bumpy roads, so glad I have my rock to stand beside me.

I love you king,🥂here’s to us and the roads ahead.

**Special thank you to my sister Cee for standing beside me and my Godson/Nephew Gee for being my ring bearer.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas…it’s back to work for tomorrow 😩 and hopefully back to regularly schedule blogging 😉.

Meeting the family for the first time?

Meeting the family for the first time?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 4 Comments

Meeting the family for the first time?

Just be yourself. Unless you’re an A-hole, then be somebody else. Just kidding, always be yourself. Obviously the person you are with sees something special in you that’s important enough to bring you home to meet their family.

Meeting the family can be stressful, I think more so around the holidays. Usually there is a larger crowd to deal with as opposed to just a regular Sunday dinner. So it might be better to put it off until you can meet everyone in smaller doses . But if you can’t just relax and take it easy.

Bring something

He/she may say that bringing something is unnecessary, but trust me it is better to bring an unnecessary gift than to show up empty handed. A good bottle of wine, maybe a box of good quality chocolates or even some festive flowers. The smallest effort will be appreciated.

Dress appropriately

Aside from being clean, neat and appearing tidy make sure you are dressed to impress. I’m not talking a tuxedo or a ball gown, I’m talking about if you’re a guy leave the sweats and sneakers at the park, if your’re a woman make sure you are wearing something that doesn’t show your underwear if you bend over. Don’t get me wrong, you should always be able to express yourself and be comfortable in your clothes and no one should ever judge anyone based on their clothing but you will be.

Limit your alcohol intake

Loose lips sinks ships…and alcohol has a way of helping us behave in away that can be misconstrued. So until you become more familiar with the family I’d leave the shots for another time.

Offer to help

Even if they decline your offer, at least you tried. Offering to help shows you appreciate being invited into their home and that you are investing your time into the family gathering, not just there for your SO.

Interact with the family

If he/she has shared details with you about the family and they are present let them know. If he mentioned his sister just graduated high school, congratulate her and ask about future plans…his uncle just retired and is about to see the world…ask to tag along…just kidding, but you see where I’m going with this. It shows that he talks about his family and it shows that you care enough to listen.

Keep the PDA to a minimum

While you might want to tongue each other down and profess your love for each other or grab a quickie in the bathroom, its best to wait until you get home…or at least until you get to your car.

Go with the family flow

If the family is rambunctious and lively go ahead be lively too, you don’t want to seem like a prude or fuddy duddy or if they are more conservative I would suggest toning it down so you don’t appear like a character off of “Shameless” (my family is more like Shameless lol). Use your best judgment.

I remember when H met my family for the first time. It was a little awkward and uncomfortable for many reasons, but he basically fit right in. I feel like were “The Munsters” meets “Shameless” lol. And for this reason everyone fits in♥️.

I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting his family, I mean I have met his mother but I would like the opportunity to see her again while I’m fully clothed🤦🏻‍♀️.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com