Tag: New

Should you attend your holiday office party without your SO?

Should you attend your holiday office party without your SO?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 2 Comments

Should you attend your holiday office party without your SO?

Is there a reason you’re excluding them? Understandably to keep cost down, some companies might not allow you to bring your SO. In this case to be respectful to H, I would make a quick run through, make sure all of the important people have seen me and then make my exit. Unless of course he is working or other wise busy, then I would stay longer. Point being, I would never want him to feel excluded. Would he do the same for me? Not really sure, but I would hope so.

I’ve been to many an office party and while I feel they are great fun and good for team camaraderie, anytime you add alcohol to the mix it can be a dangerous and thin line. Yes, I always drink too much but have always behaved myself. The same cannot be said of others.

In 2012, my company held a large Holiday party at our headquarters. The entire staff from every site was invited and although I hung out mostly with my team it was also supposed to be a great networking event. Well the alcohol was flowing and one of my former coworkers became a little handsy (we’ll call him R) and one of my other former coworkers (we’ll call him F) became really concerned.

So much that he accompanied me home on the train even though I was going in the opposite direction he was. All because R was going the same way and he wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to try anything further. R didn’t show up to work the next day and when he did return he apologized.

I’ve also witnessed firsthand some of the behavior that takes place at these parties. According to Emotional Affair Journey it’s like a “hot bed for infidelity”, I asked one of my former coworkers if she was bringing her husband to the company party, her response…”Would you bring sand to the beach?” I’m guessing that means no? lol. I’m not trying to be a Grinch and steal your holiday fun, if you’re single, do you! Although I wouldn’t advise shitting where you eat! Been there done that. Not as fun as everyone thinks, unless you like awkward situations.

Don’t get me wrong, not every party ends in drunken debauchery if you do wind up going alone just ask yourself is this how I want ____ to behave? If you decide to stay home here is two fun options to liven up your evening:

  1. If you have never watched “The Office” what are you waiting for??? Start watching! If you have, catch up on all of the Christmas episodes by using this handy guide from People and Mindy Aka Kelly Kapoor.
  2. Get a Santa hat and put it on the corner of the T.V.. Every time someone appears to be wearing it…take a shot of your favorite alcohol.

Snuggling and stuff with your love is also another great way to spend the evening. Holiday parties are fun, but there is nothing like spending time with the one you love…Corny, maybe. But I’m still in the honeymoon phase sooo Sssshhh.

Whatever you do make sure your safe. Please drink responsibly and DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!

Also I think it’s extremely important to add when I say drink responsibly I’m also talking about being mindful of your actions. Alcohol aka liquid courage might help you get up the nerve to speak to someone you normally wouldn’t or say things more aggressively and make the other person uncomfortable. So maybe save the flirting for the watercolor and not the office party.

If you’re on the receiving end of unwanted advances I know it can be easy to want to chalk it up to the other person just being drunk and not really meaning anything by it. If it makes you uncomfortable say something. Alcohol should not be an excuse for bad behavior.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

Should you still continue to send a (Christmas, birthday, holiday) gift to an ex’s children after the relationship is over?

Should you still continue to send a (Christmas, birthday, holiday) gift to an ex’s children after the relationship is over?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 3 Comments

Should you still continue to send a (Christmas,birthday, holiday) gift to an ex’s children after the relationship is over?

I’m going with YES!…well as long as neither parent objects.

The children have done nothing to you and probably had nothing to do with the relationship ending. So why should they suffer because the relationship ended?

H has two small children and I formed a bond with one of them. Every holiday I send them a little something on behalf of us in the name of e.g. Halloween candy from The Great Pumpkin, Easter baskets from The Easter Bunny, Valentine’s Candy from The Great Heart… it’s little traditions I began when my own children were babies that I’d like to carry on.

H doesn’t really have a relationship with my children. My youngest is 14 and they never had the chance to form a bond. So in that case it would not be expected and totally understood if they had no further contact if our relationship ended.

Obviously above all, the parent’s wishes must be respected. If your ex SO or the child’s mother/father is uncomfortable with you giving their child/children gifts after the relationship is over then as much as it may hurt, you must stop.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

Tis the season…

Tis the season…

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

Thanksgiving is over…Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, you’re up!

This time of year can be stressful no matter what you’re beliefs are or how you celebrate. So let’s keep it light and fun, and remember it’s about family more than it’s about gifts.

If you’re like me, you like to receive gifts…and if your even more like me it means you like to give them more than to receive them (H if you happen to be reading this, I still want the air fryer lol), which often means I’m trying to figure how many kidney’s I’ll have to sell in order to get everyone something. Well at least the old me thought that way.

Since my children are mostly grown now, Christmas no longer has the urgency it once did. You know the one where you lie to keep up the facade of Santa being real and try to get everything on their wish list because after all Santa can give you everything as long as you are a good boy/girl! Thank God they never asked for a pony!

Gifts should really come more from the heart and less from the wallet. I know gifts cost money, but I think some of the coolest gifts I have ever given have been ones that I made. I used to be heavily into photography and it was always such a warmth in my heart to give someone a photo I have taken. Sometimes if I could I would buy a frame too or even make one.

Another way to keep cost down and still be in the Christmas giving spirit, is to have a Secret Santa drawing. This is a good way for all of the adults in the family (near or far) to exchange gifts. Agree on a price limit and set up a gift exchange on Elfster. I’m in charge of our family’s Secret Santa this year…wish me luck lol.

If you are going to visit someone’s home for the holidays you can always bring a “host gift” IMO it covers everyone in the house (except the kids). It can be good bottle of wine or homemade Dominican Ponche or Puerto Rican Coquito all are delicious inexpensive choices.

How do you celebrate the upcoming holidays? Please share with me sone of your traditions.

Do you believe in karma?

Do you believe in karma?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

Do you believe in karma?

Yes, I do! And I’m so afraid that it’s finally here to claim me!

I haven’t always led a perfect life…hell by some standards I’m probably not doing so now, and I do believe we pay for the things we have done. So I’m kinda bracing for impact.

I think that’s why sometimes, I refuse to allow myself to be to happy or excited about certain things, because I don’t think I deserve them. Especially in the love department. I’ve had some bad things done to me, I’ve done bad things to some people, and some innocent bystanders may have gotten hurt along the way.

That’s why when things seem too perfect it just makes sense to me to expect things to fall apart. And I guess that’s why I might on some level, shake things up a bit.

I don’t know if I believe we pay for past life karma (although I do believe in reincarnation) but I definitely believe it exist. So just be the best person you can be, and don’t do something to someone you wouldn’t want done to you. It’s as simple as that.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

How do you work with someone you don’t get along with? Quitting is not an option.

How do you work with someone you don’t get along with? Quitting is not an option.

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 1 Comment

How do you work with someone you don’t get along with? Quitting is not an option.

Quitting is definitely NOT an option, we all have bills to pay.

You didn’t really mention why you don’t get along, was there a disagreement or a misunderstanding of some sort? Sometimes just talking one on one will work as long as the both of you can remain civil. If there has always been a history of bad blood, then it might be best to steer clear or see if your job offers conflict mediation.

Are either of you new? Maybe it’s just a hard time fitting in, which can create a hostile appearance. Being the new person isn’t always easy, do you remember being at a new school? Work isn’t any different. Try finding a common ground (type of music, T.V. show etc.) You might find you have something in common.

Have you tried just killing them with kindness? Lame, maybe. I know life isn’t always butterflies and sunshine. But I always try my best to be kind before anything. Does it always work? Nope.

I had a really bad experience with a co-worker a few years ago. She lived to make me miserable. We had some negative history, but I don’t allow personal history to affect my professional surroundings. I tried my best to be kind and I even sympathized with why she hated me, but there was just no way around that evil. Also it wasn’t just me she was unkind too, several other staff members told me in confidence that she was hostile with them as well.

So one day when I couldn’t take it anymore, I did go to my superiors and gave them an ultimatum. It was her or me…risky I know, because it could have gone either way. I was fortunate in this situation, because she was the one that was moved. But then I had to hear for months about how she was making her new site manager miserable 🤦‍♀️…she was eventually let go completely.

Just show up for work, make your money and go home…repeat. I do hope that things work out for the best. We spend more time at work than we do in our homes, no one should spend that much time being miserable.

Wishing you the best!

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com

Do you think social media ruins relationships?

Do you think social media ruins relationships?

by Queen Pea👸🏻 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Do you think social media ruins relationships?

Yes! I absolutely think it does. Social media is very misleading. It gives you the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side and quite honestly it isn’t. And if it appears to be, it’s because someone is watering it. Worry about watering your own grass.

Social media can be a great business tool, it can help you network and expand your business without ever leaving your couch. It can help you sell or barter goods or services. If you’re single, it can even help you find the love of your life (I met mine on social media).

But it seems that social media more often than not is used for more evil than good. My smartphone has helped me do some pretty dumb things. Our noses are so buried into our phones, we are letting reality just slip on by. Instead of talking to each other, we’re busy talking to someone on the other end of our phones and losing sight of what’s right in front of us.

Social media has made it to easy to become deceptive and often it can lead to infidelity. A study, published in “Computers For Human Behavior” shows a 20% annual increase in Facebook enrollment was associated with a 2.18% to 4.32% increase in divorce rates. The study’s model from the individual survey results predicts that people that do not use social media are 11% happier in their marriages than people that are regularly use social media.

That’s 11% percent happier, I suppose it’s not that large a percentage, but I’d rather be happier than not, and I’d rather be happier with the person I’m actually with.

If you find social media is ruining your relationship, it important to figure out why. Sometimes it’s that the person on the other end seems new and exciting, or maybe they are paying more attention to you than your partner. But are they worth losing them over it? I don’t think so. And if you do, maybe it’s time to re-examine your relationship.

What would you do differently and why? Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below.

If you’d like my opinion on a certain situation or to have your questions answered you can submit your request to:

WWjai.do@yahoo.com